Radio Show Monday: Why We Attract the People We Do

Do you often wonder how and why you attract a particular person or type? Join me and Michael Sherman as we talk about what an Imago Match is - the idea that we attract someone to us who is a match to our subconscious imprint that was developed in childhood – and why that creates such wonderful romance in the beginning, how it naturally evolves into power struggle, and how conflict can be resolved with Imago dialogue.

Michael Sherman is the Founder of Courageous Loving, an organization based in Nyack, NY, devoted to personal growth and relationship training.  A writer, coach, trainer and multimedia producer, Michael has worked with thousands of people to help them to answer this question: ‘Who are my relationships calling me to become?”  Michael brings an energizing and humorous approach to his work, whether it be enlightening people with insights into their personal relationships, or elevating business people to become attractive leaders in their professional lives. He and his wife, Amy, a therapist and trainer in her own right, are together building a growing nation of Courageous Lovers.

Here are the details:
Monday October 26, 2009 at 12 noon EDT
www.timezoneconverter.com"
www.blogtalkradio.com/drkaren

Call in number: 347-945-6313
Hit "1" if you’d like me to see your “hand up” to ask a question

The show will be broadcast live at www.blogtalkradio.com/drkaren. Anyone can download the show free of charge afterwards in case you missed it.

Dear Dr. Karen: Am I Madly in Love or Not?

Dr. Karen,

I do not know what this is all about. But I am madly in love or not?? I really do not know what to call it as.

I am so much attracted to this man. We have been together for three years now. We broke up a while back because I blew up the issue as he was dating other women. For him I am just one of many, but for me he is everything.

The word Man means only him to me. Anyone walking tall on the road reminds me of him, if I see any pair on the road I think only of him. Any romantic scene on TV reminds me of him. I know very well that our frequencies never match and we are not the made for each other...but above all this there is something which makes me crave for him all the more. I am angry over him - as he did not treat me with self respect, used me when he did not have the confidence to lure other women. But now I am of no significance to him. It hurts. That is the reason I broke up with him. Maybe I would have handled this better if only he would have told it straight that he used me. I cannot take it in that he played with me.

But above all this anger, I am unable to hate him. I feel something for him which I cannot describe in words and which cannot be erased. Can you help me out!!! This is neither letting me live nor die..

Lawen

Dear Lawen,

I can answer you simply. No, it is not love.

Why not?

Because true love is free and unconditional. What you have instead is an addiction. Yes, an addiction. You are addicted to the chemical hormones coursing through the cells of your body and you are “high” from your feelings of longing as well as your feelings of anger. It makes you feel alive.

Your intuition has already told you that “your frequencies never match”, yet you pursue him. And I can make a couple of guesses why you do. One possibility is that when you were young, there was someone in your life that you could not “have”. You couldn’t get enough attention from that person, a parent perhaps. Maybe that parent was unfaithful or untrustworthy.

I’ve seen countless examples of how adults who were abused as children still long for their parent to love them despite the obvious evidence that they do not have the capacity to do so. You could be repeating an unconscious pattern from your childhood that “makes you” addicted to pursuing the love and attention you never received as a child.

So you have a decision to make. You can continue on your unrewarding pursuit of an addiction, with its highs and lows, and never feel the true joy of a truly loving relationship. Or, you can get some help to free yourself from your current addiction.

Don’t underestimate the power of your addiction. You will need help and support to neutralize it. It will take time and lot of self-compassion. It has nothing to do with “him” and everything to do with your own conditioning. He just represents a part of you that you need to heal. His unfaithfulness to you is a blessing. It hurts, yes, but it is an opportunity. It is an opportunity for you to truly LOVE yourself first.

If you truly LOVE yourself fully, then you would never desire to be with someone who treats you less than you wish to be treated. There’s the key. You actually don’t love yourself enough to let go and realize that there are plenty of other men out there who WILL love you and be faithful to you. But it starts with changing YOU.

Bottom line, go get some professional help. You don’t have to do this alone. I believe in you.

Blessings,
Dr Karen Kan

Join me tonight for a FREE teleseminar!

It's been a super-busy month and a fun one at that. I hope you can join me this Thursday evening for a FREE 50 minute teleseminar and coaching session focused on everything to do with the Law of Attraction. This call will be recorded and available in the MEMBERS section (http://lawofattractioninlove.com/membership/) of the Law of Attraction website soon afterwards in case you can't make the call but want to listen to it.

Here's some of the questions you may wish to ask and the material we'll cover

- When synchronicities happen in my life, what do they mean and what should I do when it happens?
- What CAN the Law of Attraction do for you and what CAN'T it do for you.
- Why even Law of Attraction gurus/teachers can have "bad" things happen to them and what it means for you?
- How many negative thoughts do you have to have before you manifest negative things in your life?
- If someone is really powerful or a great manifester, will they overpower YOUR wishes or intentions?
- Why are we taught that we need only ask the Universe once for what we want yet are also told to focus daily on what we want? Is there some controversy here?
- When "bad" things happen to "good" people...what does that all mean?
- Can you really use the Law of Attraction to bring back an old relationship?


The format for this month's teleseminar will be a little different in that whoever is on the call will have priority to ask his or her Law of Attraction questions LIVE and I will coach you personally. Depending on the number of people on the call, we'll probably spend about 5-7 minutes per person so we can get through some of our material.

What's great about this group-format coaching is that one: it's free! Second, you get your question answered personally by me. No need to wait days, weeks or months to see it published on my blog or newsletter. Thirdly, it helps others by listening to your questions and hearing how I coach you.

Here's the teleseminar info for Thursday:

Thursday October 15th 7:30PM - 8:20PM
Conference number 712-432-3900
Access Code 7677512#

If you have Skype, you don't have to pay long distance charges. I look forward to speaking with you then!

And by the way, today we had our Ask Dr. Karen segment on Blog Talk Radio Law of Attraction in Love show where I answered a bunch of great questions from people, so please check it out and listen to the archives at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/drkaren

Blessings,
Dr. Karen Kan
PS. please connect with me on Twitter! http://www.twitter.com/karenkan

Dear Dr. Karen: Do You Only Have to Ask Once for the Law of Attraction to Work?

Dr. Karen,

My question now is: I have read many, many, articles on the laws of attraction and others have stated that ''you need only ask once'' and it will come to pass. However, reading your article, you have said that thinking about it most often (in other words of course) it will come to pass. Which do you believe to be the correct way of thinking?

Thank you for your time.

Anna

Dear Anna,

Great question Anna. Let me rephrase it. It sounds like you’ve read that you only need to ask The Universe once in order to manifest your wish. At the same time, after reading my article, you perceived that you must think about your wish over and over again in order to manifest it. Is that right?

OK, here’s how it works, at least in my understanding. What is true is that you only need to ASK the Universe one time for your wish. Then, after asking, or in other words, setting your intention, you need to let it go.

And here’s where you need to pay attention!

What you need to let go of is the ATTACHMENT to your wish coming true. What you DON’T let go of is the passion, excitement and energy directed towards your dream/wish/intention.

When you order from the menu in a restaurant, you order once and then wait patiently for your meal to come, don’t you? You enjoy your wait. You don’t fret ever two minutes why your meal hasn’t come yet nor do you ask the waiter countless times whether he got your order. But you know what most of us do? We fret about our “order”!

When we set intentions, sometimes we lose faith that our “order” will come, so we either ask again and again out of anxiety, or we change course (change our minds). The latter is very common. I’ve witness many people discover a dream they wish to manifest. They become all fired up about it. But within a short period of time, they lose their faith and stop pursuing their dreams. Why? Because they don’t trust themselves to be completely responsible for CREATING their dreams.

Now, what I (and many others) teach is that once you set your intention, your focus needs to stay on your target (final outcome) or wish. You are not asking. You are planning for it. You don’t let distractions or obstacles prevent you from believing in your dream and taking the next step towards it.

I’ll give you an example. Say your wish is to swim with the dolphins. Once you’ve chosen the details of your wish, what do you do next? (please read the rest on my blog) Do you sit on the couch and watch movies all day? Will that get you closer to your dream? No, of course not. Will looking at pictures and movies about swimming with dolphins help? Yes, because they will get you in the vibration of already having experienced it (to the best of your imagination). But you need more than that.

Doing embodying exercises (see Chapter 2 in the eBook) will help you get into the vibration of having received. That is an “inner world” exercise. Then doing the “outer world” exercises of taking action in the real world take it to the next level. You cannot just have one without the other.

Your next step is “acting as if”. Your ACTIONS determine what happens. The Universe responds to the amount of energy you put forth in the direction of your wish. In our example, you would go and search the internet for dolphin experiences or search a travel guide. You would check out plane ticket costs, book time off from work, save money towards the trip etc. As the saying goes,

“Where attention goes, energy flows and results show”

Hope that clears up your confusion about the Law of Attraction and intention setting.

Blessings
Dr. Karen Kan

Hi, it's Dr. Karen and I need your vote!

Have you ever had the experience of something changing your life so profoundly that you wanted to share it with the world? Well, that happened to me after I attended Peak Potentials Millionaire Mind Intensive. Even though the focus was "money", what I realized was that the REAL focus was about my RELATIONSHIP with money.

You see my relationship with money was on very "bad terms". Little did I realize until I took that transformative three-day weekend course (which was practically FREE), that my negative thoughts about money would prevent me from fully manifesting abundance in OTHER areas of my life including health.

Well, I need your help because my teacher, T. Harv Eker, just created a video contest for us graduates. We really want to get the word out on just how important this personal growth work really is. So what I'd like you to do is simple:

Please go to my YouTube video: T. Harv Eker and Dr. Karen Karen: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPJAxgIpVq8 and VOTE 5 stars AND write a few positive comments below! That's it!

The more comments and ratings I get, the more likely my video will be chosen to win...which means the better I can serve everyone including YOU.

I would like to thank you in advance for helping me out!! It really means a lot!

Blessings,
Dr. Karen Kan
http://www.lawofattractioninlove.com