Dear. Dr Karen: Unconditional Love

The Dear Dr. Karen question for today:

Dear Dr. Karen,

How can I use the Law of Attraction to improve the relationship that I already have. I KNOW that we were meant to be together due to numerous reasons and synchronicities that I continue to see everyday, but I feel that my fiancee is afraid of this due to her past traumas and being unloved in childhood. She runs away, but at the same time she cannot let go. I have also tried to walk away but cannot. The result is we are at a constant stalemate. Can the Law of Attraction help to bring this relationship to bring about the changes needed to break down the resistance and overcome the things keeping us apart?

Ken

Dear Ken,

Intend the type of relationship you wish to have with your fiancee. Your greatest gift to her is loving her exactly the way she is, with all the fears and insecurities she may have. She has attracted you into her life to be a mirror. You can treat her differently from all the other people who has let her down in the past. The relationship is a form of healing for both of you if you can see it that way.

Instead of wanting her to change because you think she (and you) would feel better, see if you can be inquisitive about what makes her tick. The Law of Attraction works in this way - the more unconditional the love you can have towards your fiancee, the more that kind of love will return to you. Don't try to change her. You're not her therapist and you shouldn't put yourself in that role.

What would help even more is that YOU get counseling or coaching. You would set an example for her. If she sees how much happier you are when you are working on your own "stuff", then maybe, just maybe, she'll be inspired to delve into her own "stuff" and clear it once and for all.

Too often we are trying too hard to tell others how they can change to be happier instead of focusing on our OWN stuff. So Ken, how CAN you be happier with your fiancee without needing her to change? There is no such thing as a real stalemate. You are either growing or dying. Which is it?

Take the initiative to grow yourself. Don't wait for her to change or even give her the sense that you wish her to change. It will be counterproductive. Instead, give her what she has never received, unconditional love AND acceptance. And may she be inspired by your example.

Blessings,

Dr. Karen Kan