Dr. Kan,
Something is wrong with society when people in large cities become so disconnected with each other that they have to go to conventions, join internet dating sites, engage in speed dating, and other gimmicks, just to open the door for the possibility of dating with each other. This is insanity in my opinion. My parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles didn't engage in this insanity as a way to form relationships. They simply communicated with people and connected with those they had something in common with. If there was enough common ground they decided if they wanted to take it further and formed relationships or went their separate ways. Simple, simple, simple. Dating should not be so complicated and all of these gimmicks just take something that is supposed to be natural and turn it into an unnatural and overly complicated event.
Floyd
Dear Floyd,
I understand what you are saying. I read your letter live to ask Dr. Kathlyn Hendricks, my guest for today’s Law of Attraction in Love Radio Show, so you may wish to listen to her take on the subject. I’ll take the liberty here to summarize from both our perspectives.
Relationships in the past were no more conscious than they are now. In fact, in the past the roles of men and women were vastly different than they are today and most would not vote to return to the past where women didn’t vote or just were raised to be childcare workers.
The truth is that we all are in our infancy when it comes to developing conscious, co-committed relationships. Our parents or grandparents were just as ill-equipped in relationship skills as we are now, so not a lot has changed. What has changed, of course is the form. Our technology has grown way ahead of our skills in the conscious relating arena. We need to “catch up” so to speak in our relationship skills in order to make best use of whatever form of getting together we have.
We can’t really regress “back” to the way things were with our grandparents or parents and personally I wouldn’t want to. My grandparents were in an arranged marriage and fought tooth and nail throughout their entire existence together. They had no choices when it came to who they had to spend the rest of their lives with. There were a lot of “rules” and “obligations” that made neither partner particularly happy or fulfilled.
People were not as mobile or “global” as they are now and life in general is just moving faster and faster. Romanticizing the “past” of how people got together doesn’t really help us in today’s society.
What is most valuable, however, is the commitment to one’s own journey to self-love and wholeness. Regardless of the form of dating, the commitment to conscious loving and the follow through with action is what is most important. What that means is that we CAN both create conscious loving relationships through both the “old ways” of dating and the “new” because it isn’t the form that matters, but the person using the form. Does that make sense?
For more details, I highly encourage you to listen to the full radio show interview with Dr. Katie where you can download the whole interview for free at www.blogtalkradio.com/drkaren.
Blessings,
Dr. Karen Kan
www.lawofattractioninlove.com
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