Having sex with a guy at work, but love my boyfriend at home

Dear Secret Sage,

I've been in a relationship two years and for the past year we haven't had sex. I've talked with him about it and he says it's my attitude which turns him off. About a month ago, I met this guy at work and we had sex. It was so amazing. He's everything I could want in a man - the only thing is that I still have feelings for the guy I'm living with now and I don't know what do to.

Danielle

Dear Danielle,

It is possible to have feelings for more than one person at a time. The "problem" is that you presumeably have committed to a monogamous relationship with your boyfriend with whom you share a home. You need to decide on whether you still desire a monogamous committed relationship with one person. It is, of course, still the "norm" in our society.

Regardless of whether you prefer a monogamous a relationship or you wish to try a different relationship style, the most important thing is to treat your lovers like you'd like to be treated. In other words, give them the respect of the truth. Even though it is difficult, if you love your boyfriend, you will give him the respect he deserves by telling him the truth.

Have the courage to release any secrets you are holding because it will prevent you from ever having an authentic love relationship in the future. Your boyfriend may very well have a negative reaction to your "affair". Allow him whatever feelings he has without judgment. That also requires courage and love.

Harness the law of attraction by being very clear on what it is you wish to manifest. You cannot manifest for another person, but you can be clear about what kind of relationship you wish to manifest. Is it that you absolutely need to have sex in order for a relationship to be satisfactory? Is that the only reason that you had an "affair"?

Your boyfriend told you that he wasn't interested in sex because of your supposed "attitude". Maybe he'd agree to go to counseling with you so that you can improve the quality of your relationship...which will almost always improve the quality of your sex life.

Just because your sex was amazing with the second guy doesn't mean that it is a relationship made in heaven. Been there. Done that. If you don't resolve your issues with your current relationship, they will follow you through every other relationship in your future! It's the law of attraction at work! So if you don't want to be having another secret affair when you are with your "next" boyfriend, OR you don't want your "next" boyfriend to have a secret affair behind your back, you'll do well to resolve your issues this time around.

I wish you lots of courage and faith.

Blessings,
The Secret Sage