I'm 51 and no good available men are out there...

Dear Secret Sage, I can't seem to meet truly available men within my age group. I am now 51, but I have been experiencing this problem since my divorce 20 years ago! Sure, I've dated some men, but the relationships were short-lived, and to be honest, I'm glad they were, because I can see now, looking back, that those men wouldn't have made wonderful life partners for me. However, that is what I want: a loving, happy, peaceful partnership with a man who really is ready and who loves me for who I am. I feel like there are just no men around my age who are single. At least, I'm not meeting them. I don't know where to go at this point to meet men to date. I'm attractive, look younger than my age, am often complimented by men much younger than myself. Honestly, though, I want a relationship with a peer, not a fling. I socialize, go to classes in things that interest me, make new friends, but the men don't seem to be there. Leigh Dear Leigh, If it has indeed been twenty years since you've found an eligible single man, there are likely emotional or belief obstacles in your way. If you've already made your list of attributes you would like to attract in a man and have been fairly specific, then that is a good start. One of the ways you see whether or not you have some belief obstacles is by reading your own letter to me. Guess what? There ARE plenty of men who are attractive and single in your desired age group. Ah, but does your mind say there aren't based on your past experiences? I wouldn't blame your mind if it did! On some level you do believe there aren't enough available men in your peer group. Your belief in the "truth" that they aren't out there is a belief that doesn't serve you. And since belief precedes manifesting, you will always manifest the experience of not having enough men to choose from. So start there. See if you can understand that you can choose a different belief. There are many ways of shifting your thoughts and beliefs that we can't go into here, but I encourage you to check out the Obstacles chapter in Creating Your Fairytale Love Life eBook at http://www.lawofattractioninlove.com/ for those exercises. The other type of obstacles is what I call emotional obstacles. Is there any left over emotional scarring from your divorce 20 years ago? any lingering resentment, anger, regret, sadness etc.? or do you feel completely neutral about the whole thing, or even better, grateful that it all happened so you can be who you are today. And are you able to bless every single relationship with every single man you've been with? Sure, they weren't what you were looking for...but, they helped you define exactly what you ARE looking for right? Sometimes, one has to try a relationship out in order to learn more about oneself. On the other hand, do you see the same patterns happening over and over again with each man you date? If so, then there is something in your unconscious that is repetitively manifesting similar situations so you can heal something in your psyche that you may not be aware of. In that case, I would refer you to getting counseling or private coaching to help you. Also, check out my favorite relationship book, Conscious Loving, by Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks. It sounds like you've been doing all the right things to meet men (following your passions and interests etc.). You know where I find plenty of available men in the peer group you're talking about? At personal growth seminars! Yup. There are a ton of them. Amazing ones. The ones I've been going to lately are held by Peak Potentials. Lastly, the fact that you may have attracted younger men may be a clue that the Universe is asking you to be more flexible with what age group you find acceptable. Maybe, you would be better served by dating a younger guy. Younger guys aren't just looking for a fling (where did you learn that?) This situation happened with me. You see, I was not open to dating my dream partner, James (because he was six years younger), until my friend clued me in that I was being too rigid about my thoughts about my age requirements. I assumed that an older man would be better for me. Ever since she challenged my assumptions, I became suddenly open to younger men. And let me tell you, it has been a WONDERFUL experience to be taken care of by someone with so much energy! I'm blessed! Now I realize that all of my other "older" partners were too tired to match my energy output! So maybe, just maybe, you have been given some "clues" that haven't made sense to you thus far. Bottom line, though, is that in order for you to manifest your dream partner, the Universe is asking you to grow...to somehow break out of your comfort zone and your usual way of seeing the world. That, in my experience, is often the case. Once you are willing to re-examine your thoughts, emotions, assumptions and shift into a new state of Being, you will often find your requested results on the other side. Blessings, The Secret Sage a.k.a. Dr. Karen Kan